Last week we discussed how our trials invite us to greater intimacy with God. But what do we do with that invitation? This post will discuss actions we can take to posture ourselves to experience God’s presence and provision.
At first glance we might think of self-care as little more than self-indulgence—spa treatments, iced coffees, shopping sprees, elaborate vacations, Netflix binges, alcoholic beverages, and consuming pretty much anything that is being advertised. But effective self-care is bound up in recognizing our needs and limitations. As a mental health professional, I appreciate the ways in which self-care practices are essential to well being. Sleep habits, diet, exercise, and meaningful hobbies, along with nurturing expressions of community and spiritual practices are important components of our health. Yet somehow this didn’t connect to my trials of parenting, marriage, COVID-isolation and my own mental health.
At the the beginning of 2020, I was exhausting myself physically and mentally for what I believed to be the sake of my family. Self-sufficiency and self-sacrifice were clearly falling short. In fact, my worsening fatigue and irritability was making an already difficult situation worse. Little did I know how crucial taking care of myself would become. My motivation was the problem: I wanted to make my life easier by making everything else easier, happier and fulfilled. My hope was in myself and my efforts to force change. But the trials of 2020 would refine my disciplines of self-care to bring about a closeness with God I never knew before.
Despite my professional knowledge about the necessity of self care, I managed to become entrenched in neglectful patterns of self-sufficiency. The truth is, tending to our needs for sleep, healthy eating, and physical health can be an act of obedience to God. We are embodied souls: we need food, shelter and clothing for survival. Therefore, we need to care for our bodies, souls and minds so that we can love God and neighbor.
However, it’s understandable that some Christians may feel allergic to the “self” in self-care. After all, aren’t Christians are called to self-sacrifice, self-forgetfulness, and considering themselves only after serving others? Yes, but it’s important to remember that the spiritual discipline of self-care accomplishes goals that go beyond having only our physical needs met. When we pay attention to what our bodies are telling us, we do a very good thing—we recognize our status as creatures. We are not gods. We have limits that must be recognized and palpable needs that must be met. Jesus (God in flesh) expresses this in numerous instances. We read that he sometimes left the crowds who were following him to be alone or spent the night in prayer. He took time to eat with his friends. He slept. When I remember these basic features of my human condition, I’m free to recognize my limits and find a certain freedom from the anxiety of always pushing beyond them.
The discipline of self-care for the Christian is comprised of the practices that steward our bodies, minds and spirits in health. In doing so, we experience the pleasure of God’s created intentions for us—Irenaeus famously wrote that "the glory of God is a human being fully alive.” If this is true, then tending to the needs of our bodies, minds and spirits is God’s gift to us. So how can we posture ourselves to receive this gift and cultivate our experience of intimacy with him and others? Christians have freedom to practice self-care in many ways. Our bodies need medical care to stay healthy, or specialized care to address sleep issues, mental illness, diet concerns, and more. We all need deep, restorative sleep, physical exercise, and nourishing food. We are helped by healthy rhythms surrounding media consumption, screen usage, reflections on gratitude, and others.
Several new habits have eased my challenges of the past year—an early bedtime as the most important. I’d resigned myself to being a “night owl” and gave up hope for being the kind of person who does early morning prayer. But when I practice a regular and early bedtime, I have energy to rise for quiet mornings in prayer, avoid late night black holes of media overload, and enjoy the physical and mental benefits of good rest. As a result I feel better equipped to be more patient with my family, motivated to exercise, and refreshed for the inevitable challenges of a new day. While I don’t get it right every time, I’m learning to be patient with myself as healthful disciplines become more regular.
It can seem like a lot of responsibility to practice self-care. But ultimately, when we recognize our limits, we recognize our dependence on God for his provision and care. And when we rest in his provision, we are energized to do his work.
—Elizabeth King
