While Jesus used his life to role-model walking with God (i.e., taking time to rest and spending time alone in prayer), his ministry was incredibly focused on his relationships with a small group of followers. His relationships, not just with his disciples, but with his extended family (Mark 3: 31-34), formed the foundation of the Church.
We know little of Lazarus, except that he and his sisters were followers of Jesus. Lazarus’ biggest claim to fame is dying, followed by his resurrection by Jesus four days later. In John’s Gospel, Jesus tells his disciples that he knows that Lazarus is sick, but that everything is going to be okay. Jesus later informs his disciples that Lazarus has died, and he (Jesus) will now go to visit Lazarus and his sisters.
Upon arriving in Bethany, Jesus is confronted separately by Martha and Mary, who demonstrate their faith in Jesus AND their anger toward him for not being present when Lazarus died. When we look at this story as a whole, it is clear that Jesus knows exactly what he is going to do: Jesus will bring Lazarus to life again. But notice what happens when he walks with Martha and Mary to the tomb.
“Jesus wept.” (John 11:35).
If Jesus knew all along that things were going to turn out great, why was he crying?
John makes it clear that Jesus was not crying because he was sad about Lazarus, but that he was moved by the grief of those who also loved Lazarus. Jesus was not crying for Lazarus or for himself; he was deeply impacted by the depth of sadness, depression, anger and loss felt by those present. Jesus demonstrated this impact through his tears.
I think this is a part of Jesus that we sometimes forget. We’re aware of Jesus as a teacher, a healer, and a Savior who gives his life for us on the Cross; but Jesus also sat, listened, wept, and walked with people. Even though he knew what the outcome was going to be in his life and the lives of others, he felt deeper for others than any human could ever feel for another person.
I am certain that this continues to this day: Jesus walks with people, sits with them, listens, and often weeps.
Jesus calls us as his followers to do the same. As we have seen in the other entries in this blog series, Jesus is present with us throughout our most difficult and challenging times.
But even when we acknowledge Jesus’ presence, we must also understand that there are times when we need professional help. This could include struggling with severe depression, anxiety or trauma. It may mean struggling with a substance use or behavioral disorder. It could also mean struggling with thoughts of suicide.
I want to be clear: Having to deal with any of these issues does not mean that you are bad or unworthy. It does not mean that you are in your situation because God has given up on you, or you somehow lack the right amount of faith. It means you are human. God never promised his followers that they would be free from life’s struggles. Unfortunately, this part of Jesus’ message has been misconstrued in our society; with many churches equating good health, or material prosperity, as a sign of God’s favor. This is patently false teaching and serves to alienate people further from Jesus’ message of grace, love, and redemption.
What if you find yourself in a situation where you are dealing with thoughts of self-harm, feelings of depression and/or anxiety, or wondering if you have a problem with alcohol, medications or other substances? What if you are worried about someone you care about?
The first thing we should do is not ignore these concerns but listen. Take any expressions of self-harm and suicide seriously. If you are concerned about a person’s immediate safety, get them to a local emergency department. There, they will be assessed by professionals, and if necessary, can receive help in a safe, secure environment. Retreat Hospital, located behind our church building, does an excellent job of helping people in crisis. If you are not sure if the situation is immediate, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK(8255).
If you are concerned about your use (or a loved one’s use) of alcohol/drugs, a good place to start is Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is not treatment; it is a community of people dedicated to helping one another in their recovery from alcohol misuse. For a list of local meetings, call 804-355-1212.
Finally, if you feel you or a loved one would benefit from counseling, please talk with a church leader. Understand that doing so is not a display of weakness, it is part of being human. And remember that Jesus is always with us, including when we are working with a professional. Our God is not a passive presence, ignorant of our pain; He took on human form and poured His life (and his tears) out for us. Jesus still walks and weeps with us today.
—Paul Brasler (LCSW) has been a clinical social worker for over 25 years. He specializes in walking with people with substance use disorders and serious mental illness and training other clinicians. His first book, High Risk Clients was published by PESI Publishing and Media in 2019.
