Redeemer Family,

As we continue this series of articles on Gospel Formation for Missional Presence, I’d like to help us understand that word presence just a bit more deeply. So let’s think about what it means to be missional in regards to our own home-life.

MISSION? AT HOME?
Now, right off the bat, this is difficult. We are so accustomed to thinking of mission as something that happens “out there” away from home. However, the Bible makes no division between the kind of life we live privately and the kind we live publicly. In fact, we are all too familiar with the humiliation that people experience when their private lives are revealed as radically different (and usually worse) than their public image. Therefore, if missional living is the way of Jesus, it starts at home.

WHAT IT’S NOT
First, let’s name the three normal Christian approaches to homelife that are not the missional presence approach exemplified by Jesus.

*Note: By home-life, we mean a person’s roommates, housemates, spouse, children, etc. Basically, anyone who lives with you.

FORTIFICATION: This approach draws a sharp dividing line between a person’s spiritual relationship with God and the other people around them. Others are essentially viewed as a threat to the vitality of your spiritual life and in order to keep your spiritual life “pure,” you must create distance between you and the people you live with. With this view, your spouse’s irritating habits, your kids' neediness, your housemates’ irresponsibility are hindrances to your relationship with God. You may be involved in some sort of Christian evangelism or justice-work outside of the home; but you take off that missionary “hat” when you walk through the door.

What it gets right: You need your own, individual relationship with God that is separate from the people around you.
What it gets wrong: Your faith is private, even from those in closest proximity to you.
Core Motivation: Fear of being “led astray” by other people’s bad influence on you.
How it does harm: Those who live with you do not really know you and you do not desire to really know them. Since you, as a Christian, represent Jesus to them, this implicitly communicates that Jesus does not really desire to know them and is not knowable by them.

ACCOMODATION: This approach seeks to erase any dividing lines between you and those with whom you live. You adopt others desires, comfort-level, and feelings about faith. What does the group want to do? How does the group want to talk? For young adult housemates, this looks like a relatively passive, go-with-the-flow posture. For spouses, it takes the form of spiritual codependency. For parents with children, it looks like “trying to make Christianity fun” so that the kids will not be hostile to the faith.

What it gets right: You are curious-about, listen-to, and genuinely care about what those around you desire. You are tuned in to their needs.
What it gets wrong: You abdicate any responsibility to represent the fullness and the realness of Jesus to the people you live with.
Core Motivation: Fear of offending or pushing others away from faith.
How it does harm: Encourages others to idolize their own desires; which, in the long run, will fail them.

DOMINATION: This approach seeks to move towards those around you in order to make them Christians. If you live in a college dorm or a house of single friends, this looks like aggressively evangelizing and debating your hallmates. If you are married, it looks like trying to disciple your spouse. If you have kids, it looks forcing your children into prayer, Bible reading, and other faith activities regardless of their emotional or spiritual receptivity.

What it gets right: You are passionate to see those closest to you to come faith and grow spiritually.
What it gets wrong: You seek a level of influence and control over the lives of others that violates their personal agency in responding to Jesus themselves.
Core Motivation: Fear that, if you do not do something, others will go to Hell and you will have failed as a Christian.
How it does harm: You will either drive others away or steam-roll them into submission. This will vaccinate them against genuine, authentic faith in Jesus.

THE TRAGEDY
Unfortunately, most Christians adopt one of these three postures towards the people in their homes. The sad part? So many Christians do this while, at the very same time, passionately pursuing mission outside the home! The hard reality is, the people outside your home only know the part of you that you show them, in limited doses, at select venues. You can curate your Christian image outside the home. But when people live with you, they really get to know you. All of you. Even (and most especially) the parts that are incongruent with your Christian faith.

The saddest part? All three of these postures are motivated by fear and the need to control outcomes. These are all downstream from an unwillingness to trust God. These approaches to mission steal your joy and leave you exhausted.

THE ANTIDOTE
What was Jesus’ missional posture like?

Did he distance himself from needy or irritating or toxic people in order to preserve the purity of his relationship with the Father? No, he constantly allowed himself to be interrupted.
Did he flex and bend to the various desires of the disciples, Pharisees, and villagers around him? No, he felt very comfortable disagreeing with those closest to him.
Did he forcefully pursue those who weren’t interested in what he had to offer? No, Jesus made invitations and let people exercise their agency in responding.

Q: So what was Jesus’ missional posture?
A: He was fully present. The consistent posture of Jesus’ ministry was his remarkable ability to be fully present to whoever was around him.

Q: What was His presence like?
A: Calm, self-controlled, peaceful, kind, merciful, gracious, brave, firm, resilient, safe for the wounded, dangerous for the arrogant… we could keep going.

The missional presence of Jesus, in other words, was not a technique, but rather a way of being, a way of life, a way of showing up as a human being. Just being around Jesus was transformative for people, because his presence gave them a taste of God’s presence. By being around Jesus, people got a feel for what it would be like to be around God.

THE QUESTION FOR US
Now, can the same be said of us? Do people get a wonderful sense of what it’s like to be around God by being around us?

Argh! This is a terrible question for me! I think there may be some people who don’t spend very much time with me who might think the answer is yes, but my family knows better! They see the real me. The selfish husband. The grumpy Dad. The forgetful brother. The ungrateful son. Pray for me. I need it.

But let’s not avoid the question simply because it’s so damning. Let’s be brave enough to face reality.

“What is it like to be around me?” is a wonderful, terrifying, exposing question that gets right to the heart of mission in the way of Jesus.

Your presence will always be the most powerful thing about you.

Your presence is more impactful than your words.

Your presence is more impactful than your deliberate actions.

Your presence is more impactful than your thoughtful beliefs.

Your presence is more impactful than your good intentions.

Your presence is what people will remember most about you long after you are gone. They won’t remember who you wanted to be, they will remember who you really were, and they will remember how it felt to be around you.

PRACTICING THE PRESENCE OF JESUS
Redeemer Family, this is why we keep honing in on this word presence when we talk about mission. The most potent thing we bring to table when it comes to mission is… just ourselves. Rightly understood, there is no distinction between Christian mission and Christian living, they are meant to be one and the same.

There is something that is both delightfully overwhelming and underwhelming about this. On one hand, the task is overwhelming. My presence is supposed to give people a sense of being in the presence of God? Are you kidding me? On the other hand, wait—you’re saying that the real instrument of mission is just little old me? That’s it?

A Christian person is not only homo sapien, made in the Imago Dei, but also a new creation baptized into union with Jesus and living as the Imago Christi. A Christian is a “little Christ,” a little image of Jesus. If you are baptized and have faith in the Gospel, then this is what you already are. You don’t have to become it, you are it!

Now, go and live according to what is already true about you in the Gospel.

In the Father’s love,